Someone I admire is…my husband. And I can break down crying
with even the thought. I know what it’s like to have a wonderful best friend
that knows your ugly and loves you crazy.
One that can somehow always see your beauty. A love where, if I didn’t
have her, I know a part of my soul would die. You can only hope that the man
you marry would end up being your best friend, too. That word has been thrown
around like it wasn’t precious and rolled off my tongue empty. I know deep. And
because I know my depths so well, I also know my shallow. Or maybe it took
finding the real thing to recognize what was not.
My husband is so much my lover, but he is also so, so much
my best friend. As time goes on I can see it and feel it more and more. I know
I’m not easy and I vowed to let all my walls down with him. To not hide and to be
vulnerable. So I did and it’s hard. It’s a costly risk. Because you don’t
really know for sure how it’s going to go. I guess honoring promises is
important to both of us because in return, I get to experience his promise. To
love me. And he chooses it every day. The beauty is the natural way it’s like a
best friend. A deep, deep love. That’s able to see the raw me, the good and the
bad and breathe life into me. Wrap me up and hold me. Encourage me. Support me.
Guys on my worst days, because he chooses love, he loves the ugly right out of
me. It’s not a romantic love. It’s a, I’m your best friend love. Best friends
are always light. They carry an unconditional love for you.
I admire the man that he is. The friend that he is. It’s a goodness that has the power to melt and
soften. I admire the commitment and endurance. The choice. The way he is
intentional. The way he uses how well he knows me to love me perfectly.
I admire him for wanting to be more like Jesus. For striving
for it. For not giving up on it. For wanting to be a better man. For turning to
the cross and the blood. I admire his humility, I’ve seen the pain that comes
with it. I’ve seen what no one else sees. The hurt, the wounds, the pride; that
he fights everyday so that he can produce holy fruit for others. I’ve seen him
lay himself down in grief and without even knowing, gaining more and more of
the love that he desires. I see before my very eyes every day.
I admire the man that will head our family. I can’t wait to
tell our kids about the way he dies for us. And they’ll see how Jesus is his
example. And I admire how he, our head, will be their example.