Come as you are...

I don't think this is going to take long. I just want to shed some light on a simple concept.  Yet it's so, so profound. And of course beautiful.

God has this ringing in my life lately. And though I don't FULLY understand it yet, what I do understand, I want to share.

He really awakened this scripture to me a couple years ago. It was timely for me. And so was the understanding He gave me. But there was so much more. And I'm sure there is still more. That's what I love about Him. He goes so deep and has so many facets. And He will always open up something to us that lines right up with our life and who we are. He shows a part of Himself to us that begins to pave a path in front of us.... "Follow Me..."

In 2 Corinthians chapter 12, Paul is in a place we are all familiar with. He likens it to having a thorn in his flesh. Then he proceeds to say it is to buffet him. That is the part that God opened up for me last time. He was preparing me for seasons of adversity. When He would allow a thorn in my flesh. And I would want it to go away or "depart from me". Because it was buffeting me. It didn't feel good. But as I experienced this scripture, I realized why it didn't feel good. Of course, in general, it hurt. Whenever someone hurts us or does something that effects us, it is painful. But there were also places in my flesh that it was irritating. Rights that I thought I had, that I didn't want to let go of. He was teaching me NOT to focus on the person or what the person did. Because what they did was testing something in me. Just as much as that person was in the wrong, there was somewhere in me that I was in the wrong too because of the reaction within me. I cry out all the time for God to humble me and I realized, this is His answer. He came to bring me low in my flesh, so that my Spirit could arise.

Which brings me to the second part. During situations that bring pressure it shows us characters in others, but it also shows us our own character. A lot of times, I feel like there is something that I can do. And I get so frustrated and disappointed in myself when I can't. The truth is, I can't change my own character. I am human and I am weak and sick in some areas (infirmity). For the longest time, that bothered me so much. Because I know the Lord's heart and I know what's right. And I just wanted to be that for Him and them.

For months I kept thinking of this phrase "come as you are". And it wasn't until lately that it finally sunk in. Jesus begins to speak to Paul about what Paul's going through and this is what Jesus says:

2Co 12:9 
And he said unto me, "My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness."

I think we underestimate the power of His Grace upon us. His Grace is every thing He has ever shown up to me as. Things He has shown me about Himself or myself. Or times that Him and I have spent together. It's this precious gift that I sometimes take for granted. It's the access I have to Him. It's the weapons He has equip me with previously...to meditate on and remember. That in itself, when I allow it to resonate in my mind even a little, blows me away. He Loves me that much. And His ways are so beautiful and perfect.

I was laying in my bed the other day, feeling so weak. And almost sick. And it was getting the best of me. It started to become an oppression. And as I was laying there I remembered Paul saying " Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ's sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong."

Why? Why does he say that?! Because he understands "come as you are". We aren't already supposed to be "strong" and "perfect". We are weak. We are sick. And that is what His Grace is for. To come in those places and awaken strength by the power of Christ. It's an honest surrender. "I can't do this!" We'll never make it, if we think we can (off our own strength). And we'll keep giving life to legalism and adding to our spiritual death. Through our union with Him and through turning to Him, we resurrect out of these places. Those thorns in our flesh begin to change our character if we let them. As we sit at His feet in our weakness, He reminds us of His Grace and we are strengthened. We begin to see differently. And this brings great humility. Because it's nothing we can do! Nothing we can give ourselves glory for. It is His Grace and Mercy upon us that breathes Life into us. It's His Love that resuscitates us. We aren't good without Him. He is the good in us.

It's ok to be weak. It took me a long time to accept that. And I'm still trying to swallow it. But it's true. We can't do anything else but come as we are to Him. There's something so beautiful and powerful in that. We don't have to go to Him right. HE makes us right. There's so much more in all of this. But I just really wanted to make one point.

This surrender is sometimes painful, but I guarantee it's one of the most liberating. I hope the breath that He has breathed in me, breathes in you too.

Here's to freedom! : )
MLB

ART OF THE WEEK: July 9-14 #2

"Terms and Conditions":

If you like this piece and want to have it for yourself, you can donate $1.00 and enter into a drawing. At the end of the WEEK, I pick a name for each piece. Whoever I pick for that week, gets the art. After the $1.00 donation, the winner will pay an addition $9.00 for the art which includes the money for shipping. So, winners will be paying $10.00 altogether for the artwork. Whatever money is left over after shipping will be divided in half. Half of the funds will go to me and my business and half will go to a person in need, or a cause. At the end of the MONTH, I count up the funds that I set aside to donate. I will pick someone or something that is on my heart that could use the blessing and I give it to them (you have to trust me enough to know I will give it the right cause/person).

If you are familiar with probability, you know that the more times your name is in a drawing, the more likely you are to win. If it is a piece that you really like, you can put your name in as many times as you want for $1.00. Example: If you want to put your name in 5 times, you donate $5.00.


I will post the art every Monday and announce the winner(s) every Sunday.


If you are interested in this piece, there is a donate button in the upper left hand corner of my webpage above "King Jesus". If you click on that, it will take you to PayPal. YOU DON'T HAVE TO HAVE A PAYPAL ACCOUNT. Look closely for the link that gives you the option to pay without having an account. It's there, you just have to look because they make it hard to find. If you have donated, put your name in the comments of this post and how many dollars you donated so I know how many times to put your name in.

If you have any questions you can inbox me on Facebook or write me a comment on here.

Peave, Love and Joy to you!!
MLB 


(keep reading for the description)


Description:


This is two canvas' side by side. The sky and grass are painted. The flowers are made out of buttons. The quote says "Let is be grateful  to people who make us happy, they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom."-Marcel Proust

ART OF THE WEEK: July 9-14 #1

"Terms and Conditions":

If you like this piece and want to have it for yourself, you can donate $1.00 and enter into a drawing. At the end of the WEEK, I pick a name for each piece. Whoever I pick for that week, gets the art. After the $1.00 donation, the winner will pay an addition $9.00 for the art which includes the money for shipping. So, winners will be paying $10.00 altogether for the artwork. Whatever money is left over after shipping will be divided in half. Half of the funds will go to me and my business and half will go to a person in need, or a cause. At the end of the MONTH, I count up the funds that I set aside to donate. I will pick someone or something that is on my heart that could use the blessing and I give it to them (you have to trust me enough to know I will give it the right cause/person).

If you are familiar with probability, you know that the more times your name is in a drawing, the more likely you are to win. If it is a piece that you really like, you can put your name in as many times as you want for $1.00. Example: If you want to put your name in 5 times, you donate $5.00.


I will post the art every Monday and announce the winner(s) every Sunday.


If you are interested in this piece, there is a donate button in the upper left hand corner of my webpage above "King Jesus". If you click on that, it will take you to PayPal. YOU DON'T HAVE TO HAVE A PAYPAL ACCOUNT. Look closely for the link that gives you the option to pay without having an account. It's there, you just have to look because they make it hard to find. If you have donated, put your name in the comments of this post and how many dollars you donated so I know how many times to put your name in.

If you have any questions you can inbox me on Facebook or write me a comment on here.

Peave, Love and Joy to you!!
MLB 


(keep reading for the description)


Description:


This isn't the best quality photo frame. But the creativity is quality! :) The flowers in the photographs are tulips. I took most of them this past spring. The middle photographs are from the Farmers Branch Rose Garden. They say "Love and Peace" and "Simplicity". In the small squares are quotes and pages from a book called "14,000 things to be happy about". It is rather light and easy to hang on the wall. 


Here's to my first piece!!
Thanks for your support!

Solace and intimacy. Moving toward who we are...

Was reading last night and this particular chapter reached its hand out and grasped my heart. Like it was my own essence. I knew it so deep, I couldn't even stand it.

The Invitation; Chapter 'Finding Our Way Home'. -OMD

"I want to know if you can be alone
with yourself
and if you truly like the company you keep
in the empty moments."

"Tell me about a moment of real solitude, a moment when you were with yourself and felt yourself at the center, a moment when you could feel the world, the stars, the galaxies spinning around you."

"There is a tension in living fully, what often feels like an opposition between our longing for the solitude where we can find our own company and the desire to be fully and intimately with the world. When we learn to live with both the desire for separation and the longing for union, we find that they are simply two ways of knowing the same ache: we all just want to go home.

Some days, solitude is impossibility. Caught up in the activities of daily living, I ache for my own company and am filled with a sorrow that makes me weep when I cannot find it.

And, at other times, I do too much and run too fast deliberately, unconsciously hoping to avoid the cool and steady gaze of myself, the gaze that sees clearly what is within and around me. Sometimes I don't like what she sees, don't like the company I keep when I am with myself, and want to pull away from this woman that I am. So I fill the empty moments with with TV, or work, or a book, or time with another. It takes courage to be willing to meet myself over and over again, seeing in my own face more beauty and grace and ability to love that I had hoped for, more judgement and impatience and need than I had feared. I forget that it does not matter how far or how fast I move, but only how much of myself I take along for the journey."

"My mothers fear finds a small corner in me, but I resist the idea that I will be with another only to avoid being alone. Surely, the ability to truly be with myself does not exclude the willingness to fully be with another. I do not seek isolation. The longing for another remains even when I am able to be with myself, although it is smaller, a whisper that tugs at me gently. Even there, in my place of solitude in the wilderness, I found myself at moments wanting to turn to someone and share my awe at the brilliance of the full moon on the still water, the delight of watching the otters playing on the edge of the stream. But the loneliness was bittersweet and bearable because I knew myself and the world in a way I sometimes do not when I let my life become too full of doing things that do not really need to be done."

"Once in a while, trying to find the end of the thread of what wants to be written, I will do a writing exercise that involves finishing the statement "I don't want to write about..." Over the years the statement is most often completed this way: "I don't want to write about the loneliness." For years I thought the loneliness, the longing for the other, was a weakness, a sign that I had not learned how to be with myself. And there have indeed been times when I have wanted to be with someone simply to cover the ache of not being able to find my own company. But I have come to accept that no matter how much I am able to be with myself, no matter how much I like my own company, I still long to sit close to and at times merge completely with another in deep intimacy. This too is coming home. The completeness of self is found when we can be alone and when we can bring all of who we are to another, receiving and being received fully."

"This is the sacred marriage: the coming together of two who have each met themselves on the road. When two who have this intimacy with themselves are fully with each other-whether for a lifetime or for a moment-the world is held tenderly and fed by the image they create simply by being together. They can be friends or family, lovers or life partners, or simply two strangers whose lives intersect for a moment. They may be telling each other stories, or making love, or sharing a task, or sitting in silence together. It doesn't matter. If, having met myself in empty moments, I am willing and able to bring all of who I am to another, receiving all of who they are, then we are truly together. In that moment, in the image our being together creates, we are the manifestation of life holding, creating, and feeding life. This is the fullness of the homecoming for which which we all long.

These moments, these sacred marriages of two, bring each person back to themselves more fully. When I was younger, the excitement of proximity and the heat of passion combined with an uneasiness with myself often meant that I lost myself when I was with another. When I was with someone who caught my imagination with possibilities beyond friendship, I found it hard to know what I wanted. I was aware only of his wanting me and was drawn by his desire.

Now that I am more able to be with myself, I seek those I can be with completely without losing myself. And when I listen for and follow the quiet but deep impulse to move toward someone-moving only as quickly as I can while staying connected to this impulse-I find sweet ease in my body and an infinite tenderness in my heart. And I recognize what I have longed for in the nameless ache that has been with me for so many years. The tension eases between my desire for personal freedom and independence, my desire for the solitude of my own company and my longing for deep commitment and intimacy with others. I find, in our time together, more of myself. And I find, in my time alone, more of the world."

Not spoken from my heart or written from my pen. But expressed as if it were my very own blood pumping from my own heart. Felt. Shared. Embraced.

-MLB

I dreamed of January 26th. I dreamed of Janine Rose.

I'm trying to find the words to express every thing that lives inside me for you. Sometimes, I wish you could come into my heart and know that God made me with you in it. Mom tells me she wishes I could do the same with her. So I'd know the depths of her Love for me. We're so meant to be. Soul mates. Mom, Dad, Me, you and Sam. He created us to fit together in this perfect way. I wish I could travel back in time and experience you again and again. I'd take everything with it. I'd live all my hard ships again just to live all those years once again. When I was little, Mom and I used to lay on the bed and talk about you like you existed. At this time, the doctors told Mom I would be her only child and she wouldn't be able to get pregnant again. But we'd dream about you anyway. Mom was probably heartbroken and wondered if it was true. But you were already mine. I deeply yearned for you. My little 4 year old heart already loved you and couldn't wait for you to be born and be MY little sister. I'd beg Mom for you. And when you finally came, I fell in Love for the very first time. 6 years old, my heart knew benevolence. To deeply Love and care for something so much you can't even take it. I wanted to hold you and kiss and smell you ALL day. I was SO proud. I can't even verbalize how precious you are to me. How precious you've always been. Like this treasure. This jewel. That is so, so priceless. Made just for me. MY little sister. I wish I could give you more. I'd give you everything. I wish I could go back and give you even more from the moment you were born until now. I hate that I'm so far away from you. But I feel you like your here. Please feel me tomorrow like I'm there. On one of the best days that EVER happened to me. Your life is a planet in my universe. You orbit in my solar system. My sun shines on you. Look up at night at the stars and know how much of a big deal you are to me. Tomorrow might be just another birthday to you, but it marks an anniversary of a GREAT gift given to me. That I can't be thankful enough for.

Split my chest open and look inside...you'll see yourself. Because you are what my heart looks like. I bet if you went back and looked in it the day I was born, you'd see yourself even then. I was born with you in me. And you will be in me for eternity!

Here's to you Janine Rose! My Love!

Ladies and gentleman...THIS is what my heart looks like.
MLB

Underneath.

A recent journal entry:

Heartbreak warfare. Kinda.

I say "kinda" because even though on the surface it hurts and my emotions are slightly raging...

Underneath, I feel ok.

Underneath, You are my Hope.

Underneath, I'm excited about your promises. Your plans for me. My future in You.

Underneath, I believe in more...better. I believe that what You have for me won't even compare to all of this.

Underneath, I look forward to Your blessings! Your mind and heart. I look forward to freedom.

Underneath, I'm thankful for You. Thankful for Your Love toward me. Your affections. Your Grace!!

I'm thankful for Your Son, even though I don't fully understand what He did and what it meant. My mind can't wrap around it.

I'm thankful that You give me what I need.

I'm thankful for access to Your Holy Spirit.

And thankful that You have begun to open up Truth to me.

I'm thankful that You're making me even when I doubt. Even when I can't see. Even when I'm distracted. You're there. You're there when I come back.

Underneath all of this, I really Love You. I really long for You. I long to have this pile lifted off of my heart and be wrapped up in each other.

I feel it. I know it's there. I know that it exists!

Underneath, I feel it. Like this magnetic pull, deep within me. I feel you drawing me and I feel my depths drawing You.  I feel it in my breath when I sit still long enough. Us. Hope. Living Hope.

Underneath, nothing else matters. No situation. No accusation. No worry.

The distractions are loud. They drown us out.

Nothing else matters underneath. But everything matters on top.

It's so chaotic up there. So confusing. So painful. So consuming.

I have to fight harder for what's underneath. For Us. For that magnetic pull.

The place where You are all that matters.

Because You alone are good! You hold everything that is truly beautiful. You are Peace and Joy. Raw. You are Mercy and Forgiveness. You are Grace. You are Heaven. Pure and Perfect. You are not darkness. Hurt. Unforgiveness. Unrighteousness. Insecurity. Sickness. Not You.

You open the door. You call us Home. You long for us.

There's no carnality or flesh mixed in. You only produce one kind of fruit.

Underneath, I long to be humble and focused and selfless, like Yeshua. It wasn't about Him. Even though it was all about Him. The Father's will was His concern. He had no rights. No ego. He was an enemy to Your enemy. To evil. To what stands in between You and Your people. Not to take mere people down. But to take down principalities...kingdoms. To set people FREE. Not to prove that he was the Messiah or that He was right. He came as Light.

I want to know more about this Father. I want it to burn in me! I want to be an enemy to Your enemy. Not a friend! I want to give up my rights! Hands up before You...I want to give up my rights. I want to exhale my offenses. I want to release my unforgiveness. Things I hold onto because I've been hurt and mistreated. I want a softer heart. More gentle. But not foolish.

Underneath, I don't want to compromise.