This is my heart, mind and soul in writing. I'm a seeker and a searcher. I hunger, I long and I ache. I'm a broken woman, poor in spirit. I have a thankful heart. Believe in Jesus. Love to love and hate to hate. I am captivated by beauty. Strive to be as open and real as I can. Some of my journey is here, in words and creativity.
Nail my hands. Hang me on a tree. He said "take up your cross and follow me." I'll die for Meekness. I'll carry my sentence to the top of the hill. And surrender. I'll exchange this heart. I promise I will. I'm gonna make it up that hill. Forgiveness will one day flow through my veins. Not my beat, but His. It's where I'm going. It's ...what drives me. I can't stop. I choose Love. I'll make it up the hill and fall on my knees. "I'm ready for the transplant, Father." The sight of the other side soothes the agony. I reach inside. Pull my heart out. And lay it before Him. I let my heart go. I say goodbye. Goodbye worries. Goodbye fear. Goodbye insecurities that used to ring in my ear. Goodbye anger and frustration. Goodbye confusion. Goodbye conditional love. Goodbye restrictions. Then comes what it was all for. A new beat. Music to my ears. Meekness. Forgiveness. Unconditional Love. I surrender. I promise. I was made to fly... not just for me, but for the world to see. To give You ALL the Glory!
My own food for thought:. 3/9/11. He wants us. More.
This is something that I have been thinking about, but is so hard for me swallow (for myself). God wants us more than we want Him. He yearns for us. To be with us and have a unity with us. He desires to pierce through us and get to our depths. Filling our deepest, darkest places with Light. He desires for us to be free from bondages and limitations. I can't imagine how hurt He feels when we don't know how much He Loves us. I want us to know how much He Loves us. Even when we are struggling. Even when we are dirty. He still wants us. He wants His children. He wants to Help. He wants to pour fresh water all over us. We wants to restore and heal and deliver. That's who He is. That's Jehovah. Maybe He wants us to let go of everything else. And just turn to Him. Surrending to His Love. He is not a bully. He just knows He has the power to Light us up and breathe Life in us. Please know today, that He wants you. All your hurt. All your cares. All of the past that you carry around with you. All of your heaviness. Your worries. Things you don't understand. Discomfort. He'll take it. It's a hard thing to do. But as we let go, He can move. And He will. Exhale all that and let Him exhale Him in you. He wants you...don't let the enemy tell you different. It's a lie.
I've been tellin the kids about Joseph. And every time I get to the end of the story, I feel like I could cry. I'm telling the story, and I am going through all this anguish with Joseph. All these incidents and situations blind siding him. I'm lookin at the kids and they too are really feelin for him as I'm telling them about all thes...e unfair, unfortunate things that are happening to him. When I get to the end, I ask them...how do you think Joseph treated his brothers when they came back? We all look at each other. And I could feel and know the two sides that are being pondered in their minds. The human side, that wants to treat them bad. They hurt him! They caused him to go through all that. But then there's God's side. And they know somehow that after all that, Joseph has God in him. So they respond by telling me, that he accepts them and feeds them. And I'm like "how beautiful is that?" We're all blown away by Joseph's forgiveness. And how he went through all that for a purpose. In the end being what his brothers needed. Loving them still. How? Because in all that suffering, God's heart was formed in him. It had to have been. Because without God's heart in him, Joseph could have never forgave them. He never turned away from God. And I'm sure at times He felt like God had turned away from him. But He didn't. God loved Joseph and He loved the people that Joseph was able to save during the famine. Especially his family. Here's to Joseph's endurance and God's unconditional Love! And to the children who are falling in love with their Maker! : )
This is what my heart looks like...3/7/11 Change. How incredibly uncomfortable, yet so refreshingly beautiful. Thinking of a baby bird that just hatched. How scarey! Everything is all big and bright compared to the dark, warm egg. But his only option is to one day fly. It has to overcome any fear. And flap those wings and just do it. And once it does, it won't be sorry. He'll fall in love with the sky and never want to leave it. No limits. No restrictions. Such hope. Even when you can't imagine how good it will feel to fly compared to staying safe of the ground, you know you were always meant to do it. So you jump.
"But even unto this day, when Moses is read, the vail is upon their heart.
Nevertheless when it shall turn to the Lord, the vail shall be taken away.
Now the Lord is that Spirit: and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is LIBERTY."
-2 cor 3:15-17
Let's turn! And breathe easy.... ...Let's let Him break chains off of us so others will see. And turn to Him too!
Yehovah is Yasha! : )
Yesterday night, I was sitting in my truck at the park reading a book. I had a CD playing low so I could concentrate on what I was reading. My mind can't handle both (no joke!), but I wanted music playing. The CD that was in, was the Facing The Giants soundtrack. I picked it up the day before at a Half Price Books, after months of looking for it in Wal-marts and Targets. Perfect. Timing! I got it for five bucks AND there was a certain song that reached out at me and spoke straight to my heart while I was sitting there in the truck. My heart's ears perked up as the song was playing and I stopped reading to listen. It was the part in the song about David. As I kept listening, my heart kept soaking it up. It was like, through the song, God reached out His hands and embraced me. It was an addition to Hope. It's still in my breath. And ofcourse, I'm real thankful for it, and want to share. We are endlessly bullied all the time ("endlessly" and "all the time" are the same thing aren't they??) Not just by others naturally, but by ourselves. Giants want to oppress us. Beat us up. Knock us down. And hold us there. I have struggled with oppression a lot in the past year or so. I know I'm not the only one. I also know what our Hope is. No matter how hard it feels to get up, His hand is always there reaching for ours. We just have to reach up and grab it. And let Him breath in us. We have to let Him destroy our view of ourselves. We have to let Him show and tell us who we really are. And as our view starts to change, so do we. His Strength is made perfect in weakness! (2cor 12).
Here's to grabbing on to His Hand!
Here's to an ever growing relationship between Him and us!
Here's to sometimes needing help!
And here's to taking it!
Here is to His Strength being made perfect in our weakness!
Really thankful for The Voice of Truth.
-MLB
See lyrics and hear video below.
P.s. I chose this video on youtube because while I was watching this movie, I wanted to get the soundtrack right away. It's a low budget movie, but it is SO touching! I love the way God moves and I love the way Faith is being built in all kinds of different ways. Am I promoting the movie too? Yeah. lol. At the beginning you might think "this aint that great." By the middle you will want to keep watching. And by the end you might be tearing up, maybe even bawling your eyes out. I HIGHLY suggest you give it a chance.
Voice of Truth/ By Casting Crowns
Oh,what I would do to have
the kind of faith it takes
To climb out of this boat I'm in
Onto the crashing waves
To step out of my comfort zone
Into the realm of the unknown
Where Jesus is,
And he's holding out his hand
But the waves are calling out my name
and they laugh at me
Reminding me of all the times
I've tried before and failed
The waves they keep on telling me
time and time again
"Boy, you'll never win,
You you'll never win
But the Voice of truth tells me a different story
the Voice of truth says "do not be afraid!"
and the Voice of truth says "this is for My glory"
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe the Voice of truth
Oh, what I would do
to have the kind of strength it takes
To stand before a giant
with just a sling and a stone
Surrounded by the sound
of a thousand warriors
shaking in their armor
Wishing they'd have had the strength to stand
But the giant's calling out
my name and he laughs at me
Reminding me of all the times
I've tried before and failed
The giant keeps on telling me
time and time again
"Boy you'll never win,
you'll never win."
But the voice of truth tells me a different story
the Voice of truth says "do not be afraid!"
and the Voice of truth says "this is for My glory"
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe the Voice of truth
But the stone was just the right size
to put the giant on the ground
and the waves they don't seem so high
from on top of them looking down
I will soar with the wings of eagles
when I stop and listen to the sound of Jesus
singing over me
But the Voice of truth tells me a different story
The Voice of truth says "do not be afraid!"
And the Voice of truth says "this is for my glory"
Out of all the voices calling out to me (calling out to me)
I will choose to listen and believe (I will choose to listen and believe)
I will choose to listen and believe the Voice of truth
I will listen and believe
I will listen and believe the Voice of truth
I will listen and believe
'Cause Jesus you are the Voice of truth
And I will listen to you.. oh you are the Voice of truth
